Analysis by Paralysis (AKA: Procrastination)

Analysis by Paralysis (AKA: Procrastination)

Do you find yourself spending so much time trying to make a decision that you become overwhelmed and feel more confused than when you started?

Are you researching and planning to start something but never actually get started?
 Do you often feel making a choice might not be the “right” choice because you want it to be perfect so instead you make no choice?
If you find yourself answering “YES!!” to any of these, I want you to know that you are not alone, and there is nothing wrong with you. Your brain is stuck in a pattern of overthinking because uncertainty feels unsafe. While your brain is working hard to problem-solve and keep you safe, you are left feeling overwhelmed, stuck, frustrated, doubtful, and exhausted.  Feeling this way tends to lead to procrastination.  Sound familiar?  Again, you are not alone!
Simply put, our brains were designed to keep us safe.  Above all else, that’s its priority.  Now, could there be some psychological influence to your overthinking?  Sure!  Perhaps it’s rooted in perfectionism, which can be simplified down to “the fear of making a mistake,” or “the fear of disappointing someone.”  
Furthermore, overthinking can be rooted in a general sense of worry about what others might think.  Ultimately, overthinking is the result of a constant loop in your brain that is just searching for any scenario that feels safe.
  In other words, your brain is simply doing what it was designed to do–it’s stuck in default mode.  It is searching for certainty, but 100% certainty is just an illusion, which leaves the mind grasping at air.

FAQs: Basics

    • Procrastination is actually a defense mechanism that we employ to protect us.  Initially, this may seem like a good thing–we all want to be protected.  However, what are we protecting ourselves against by procrastinating?  
  • Common reasons for procrastination:
    • Insecurity and/or low self-esteem
    • Fear of “failure”
    • Perfectionism
    • People pleasing
    • Feeling overwhelmed
    • Worry over what others will think
  • Who is telling you that you can’t make a decision without agonizing?  It has often been said that, “When you say ‘I can’t,’ you’re right, and you won’t; however, when you say, ‘I can,’ you allow yourself permission to accomplish anything you want to.”  It’s also true that thoughts can be revised, redirected, even flat out changed; however, the words that come out of our mouths will absolutely direct the course of our journey.  Again, paying attention to ourselves on purpose–that is to be mindful–is vitally important, and extremely powerful!  When we are mindful of our thoughts, we position ourselves to be in control of our emotions and our choices.  Empowered in this way, we can make whatever decision we want, and we can feel good about it!
  • Intrusive thoughts are common and typically the very opposite of what we actually believe to be valuable and true about ourselves.  On average, the typical person will have approximately 70,000 thoughts a day.  Most of those thoughts are negative and/or pointless.  Remember these two things about the brain: 1) It is designed, first and foremost, to protect us, and 2) When left on default mode, it will not naturally do what’s best for us.  
    • To protect us, the amygdala (the pea-sized caveman portion of the brain, and the epicenter for the fight or flight mechanism) is constantly on the lookout for threats.  In other words, it is constantly scouring those 70,000 thoughts, looking for anything that could potentially harm us.  Remember this–a thought is a paper tiger; therefore, it cannot hurt us.  However, the amygdala does not know the difference between a thought and a real live threat–it will process them both the same.  
      • Here’s an example of how it works: You choose to take a hike on a beautiful forest hiking path.  Pretty quickly into the hike, you recognize that the path is not even terrain, so you accurately conclude that you need to be careful of where you step.  
      • Enter the intrusive thought–the amygdala can take that accurate observation and turn it into a life-threatening circumstance.  Soon, you could be thinking about being a mile into your hike, taking a wrong step and breaking your ankle, leaving you stranded in the middle of the woods with no cell phone service.  Left overnight in the dense forest, you are helpless against all of nature–dropping temperatures, predators of the dark forest, strangers looking to do harm to people.  
        • The result: elevated anxiety levels, fear, sudden exhaustion, and the revolving thought of “I can’t do this.”
      • The reality is actually quite different–simply watch your step, and you will enjoy the beauty of nature: how the sun travels through the canopy of the trees, the cool shaded trail, the peaceful sounds of the woods.  You might even stop from time to time to capture a picture on your fully functional phone.  
        • The result: peace, calm, tranquility, empowerment, liberty, and the thought, “I can experience this feeling whenever I want.”

 

  • If you are struggling with intrusive thoughts, please contact us at Stone Labyrinth Counseling & Wellness.  We can help!
    • In short, self-doubt is a manifestation of insecurity.  You may be wondering, “Well, what causes insecurity then?”  Like most things in life, rarely can we point to one specific reason something happens.  Self-doubt is a prime example of this.  
  • Some common causes of self-doubt/insecurity:
    • Adverse childhood experiences (AKA: “ACE’s”)
    • Previous “failures”
    • Experience with harsh criticism
    • Extended periods in stressful environments
    • Experience with conditional love
    • Growing up in an environment of comparison
  • Remember that the brain is designed primarily to protect you.  Also, remember that the typical person has approximately 70,000 thoughts a day–most of which are negative and/or pointless because they are rooted in the two places we have no control, agency, or command–the past and the future.  When left to its own devices, the brain will not do what’s good for us.  Frequently, it will generate self-doubt in an effort to protect you from some catastrophic creation of a fictional future, which is based on previous life experiences.  

FAQs: Next Steps

    • In an effort to keep it super simple, mindfulness is a great antidote to procrastination.  Mindfulness is all about paying attention to yourself on purpose with the intention of being grounded in the present moment without judgement.  Often, it is the fear or anxiety about judgement–from self and/or others–that drives our procrastination.  
  • Some helpful hits to overcome procrastination:
      • The 1% rule–What can you do right now to move yourself just 1% closer to your desired destination or outcome?
      • Chunking–Break your project into small, manageable chunks that can be completed over time.
  • Adopt a healthy mantra–Often, procrastination is a result of negative self-talk.  Adopting a healthy mantra is a great way to reverse the effects of negative thinking.
      • Example mantras:
        • “Today is going to be a great day!”
        • “I am ______; I can ______; I will ______!” (fill in the blanks with positive truths.
          • “I am capable; I can do great work; I will complete the task in front of me!”
  • Yung Pueblo once wrote, “The mind will not naturally do what’s good for us…”  That said, however, the mind can be trained.  A helpful way to create change in the way the mind thinks it to start  developing more awareness–mindfulness.  We are unable to change what we don’t notice, so paying attention to ourselves on purpose with the intention of being fully present and available is a great starting point.  
    • A few simple Mindfulness strategies:
        • Taste your food like the host of a cooking show–one ingredient at a time.
        • Set your utensil down between bites.
        • Feel the soap suds on your skin when washing your hands.
        • Just go to the bathroom–leave your phone out of the equation.
        • Just drive–no music, podcast, or phone to distract.
        • Find the colors of the rainbow in your immediate surroundings.
        • Identify five different sounds in your immediate surroundings.
        • Breathe through your nose–feel the cool air on the inhale and the warm air on the exhale.
        • Feel your heart beating in your chest, wrist, and/or ankle.
    • STOP–Noticing a pattern of overthinking provides an opportunity to interrupt it. A helpful acronym is STOP.  Here’s how is works;
    • Stop what you’re doing.
    • Take a step back from solving the problem.
    • Observe your thoughts, emotions, and any body-felt sensations.
    • Proceed mindfully–with purpose and intention.

    • More on STOP: What does that look like? Well, start by catching your looping thoughts and stopping them by welcoming the pattern – maybe say, I’m noticing my brain is searching for certainty. Scan your body for any physical sensations that might feel tight, tense, racing, warm, numb, or tingly.  Perhaps you notice a sinking feeling in your stomach. Then notice any emotions that might come up–are you confused, scared, insecure?  Simply noticing what’s physically going on inside your body and naming it will interrupt the thought loop.  Often this reduces the noise in our head enough to ground us in the present moment. Proceeding mindfully means considering one small thing you can intentionally choose to do with what you know right now. 
  • The key to change is noticing and welcoming the thoughts–it’s the opposite of what we naturally try to do!  Often we push the thoughts away and resist them as much as possible, simply hoping they will lose their power. However, what we resist will continue to persist! 

Imagine you are working on a project inside a room in your home and you have the door closed. Outside the door the dog keeps scratching and is whining and you respond with yelling at the dog to stop or maybe yelling for someone in the home to take the dog away so you can get your project done.  Instead of yelling and arguing with the dog, imagine you open the door and let him in. The dog meanders around and eventually leaves. Thoughts are just thoughts–they aren’t facts, which means they aren’t always true.  They don’t predict the future, and they don’t define you.  Notice it, allow it to be present, embrace being uncomfortable, and they will eventually pass. Nothing lasts forever!

  • In a word, mindfulness.  More specifically, be mindful of yourself–thoughts, emotions, behaviors–with the intention of being fully present and available for what is happening in front of you without judgement.  
  • Remember that self-doubt is essentially a defense mechanism against past circumstances, which you have already survived, and future catastrophes, which are merely a figment of your creative mind–imagination.  
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